Sep 10
2
I read an article the other day on parenting. It says that it is better to ignore a screaming child than to give the child any attention even in public. While many who were interviewed in the article say that parents are inconsiderate to ignore the child causing inconvenience to other people, therapists and child psychologists say that the parents are actually doing the right thing by ignoring a screaming child.
I personally practice a ‘double-standard’ so to speak. Depending on where we are I would not just let my child scream for example, in a restaurant. I would take my child out of the restaurant.
At home however, no attention will be given to her if she screams. Just last night, my daughter decided to test to see who is boss. She screamed for 40 minutes. Of course someone would cave in after a while, and I made sure it was not me. 
I ignored her but told her the longer and louder she screamed the longer she will remain in time out, this was why it lasted for 40 minutes when normally her time out would only lasts 5 minutes. I can vouch that my daughter has strong lungs, she will make a good commander if she joins the military!
I can see and understand how many parents would cave in, when the screaming becomes unbearable. And there is a fear that the child might hurt his/her throat, but I tend to believe that screaming is not a new activity for young children, they have had practice since they were babies, so it is not really going to hurt them physically because they will eventually get tired anyway.
In my last post, I mentioned that my daughter was ill but when the power struggle with your 5 year old starts again you know that your child is completely well again. 
So if your child screams at you, ignoring him/her would teach the child what is appropriate and inappropriate behaviour. In the long term, it is healthier for both parent and child.
Notes:
- Ignore a screaming child
- Pay attention and praise a well behaved child to encourage good behaviour
- You may consider removing the child from the place if the screaming is causing a disturbance to other people
© 2010 Shamala Tan
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Shamala Tan, expert Holistic Life Coach is the founder of Think Right Feel Good™ Program, the step by step system that shows you how to live a better and stress free life. The system teaches you how to manage your stress levels through Right Thinking. Hundreds have benefited from this system and many are praising the system of how they are living more fulfilling lives and experiencing new levels of freedom within themselves. Get your FREE weekly tips and articles on how to further and dramatically change your life for the better, visit www.thinkrightfeelgood.com
Hi Shamala, very interesting article. I thing that there is no other field in life area as parenting a child where is more confusion and uncertainty
. I don’t know why is that for sure, maybe because children have their own emotional based logic different then in adults, or because almost every parent has problem wit his/her inner child or it is something else lol. But what to do if your child is screaming at home, and after ignoring him/her, it take some staff and start to wave it through the air and there is a danger that something could be broken. It is also a way of asking for attention and I this case we don’t have any option then give a child attention what she/he is asking, whether it is punishment or warning lol?
Hi Sasha, you have an interesting question. If the child while screaming takes something and threatens to break it, depending on whether the child will be in danger or not, and if the child is going to hurt himself/herself, I will still ignore the child, because the child is asking for attention in a negative way. But if the child takes something like a glass vase and threatens to throw it, I will quickly take the vase away and say I am taking this away because I don’t want you to hurt yourself. But the child will get extra time out for the stunt he/she just pulled.
So the thing to watch out for is if the child is in any danger, or will hurt himself/herself. Also the thing with time out is, I personally believe is not to traumatise the child by putting the child in a dark room, or far away from you. (I think some parents can’t stand the screaming so they lock the child in the room) In time out, the child should still be visible to you, but they have to stay in one spot and cannot move away from there. This way, your child knows he/she is not being abandoned.
I hope this helps
